Spesh.

Had a girls night tonight. Dinner with my nan, mum, sisters, aunty and cousin. So much pointless but oh-so-meaningful banter.

One thing in life that makes me completely happy and makes me completely 100 percent myself - spending time with my family. They are, without a doubt, pretty damn special.

un fabulous

im. so. bored.

im at home from work, sick, agaaaaiiiinnn!

even my blog is boring...

i eat when im bored. it sucks.

i would like to feel:

fabulous, motivated, excited, hungry, confident, in-like with someone, nervous/excited to see this someone, happy, tanned, loved

maybe i will feel these things tomorrow. . . . . ?

i should feel fabulous, excited and confident tomorrow night because i am going out for my cousins birthday with a lot of fabulous people to some fabulous places, and i usually feel confident when i am going out. i take a lot of pride in what i look like.

i will also feel hungry for dinner and drinks when we go out to this fabulous place with fabulous food.

and maybe even possibly i could meet someone fabulous tomorrow night, and then i will be nervous/excited to see them again soon because i am feeling in-like with them.

and come summer time, i'll be fabulous, tanned, happy and loved.

anyway, i know i'll feel these things quite soon.

just not feelin' them right now!

Did I mention that I'm going to be a nurse?

Today I am studying, all day. Well trying to.

I have been distracted many a time by tea, facebook, fruit & nut slice, more tea and now blogging. My exam is tomorrow, but I think I will pass.

Isn't confidence said to be a great frame of mind to have when doing exams?

I'm in my first year of nursing and so far, I love it.

We've just been learning the basics; taking observations, fluid balance, hygiene, some basic medications, wound care, skin integrity... And a lot of the "spiritual, mind-body connection" crap - the classes where they teach you that you need to be empathetic and treat the patients 'inner' person to be a good nurse.

I honestly think that kind of thing can't be taught. If you aren't already a compassionate and patient person by the time your 21, then you aren't going to learn it by sitting in a lecture hall listening to some academic talk about how it's important to integrate the 'lived experience' of the person you're treating to be a good nurse.

It's just basic common knowledge and human instinct, something that can't be taught.

I haven't decided what kind of nurse I would like to be. I've had a few thoughts, perhaps an emergency nurse, or a midwife.

I don't think it's wise to decide this early in my studies, I still have so much to see and learn. Maybe I'll end up actually enjoying wiping old ladies saggy butts and laughing at their stories about their grandkids.

It's a good day to be shut inside studying though. Rainy, miserable and cold. I'm quite content sitting here in my tracky pants and slippers with my cup of tea.

Good luck to me in my exam tomorrow!

Lb

another day, another completely different day

Okay, this is exactly what I mean.. Tonight, I feel fantastic. Tonight I flirted, I laughed, I chatted, I ate chocolate and drank wine. And I am not thinking that this day sucks. This day is good!

So, I'm gonna go on a date soon. With a guy who I used to be whipped on, years ago.. Is that lame? He's in a band, and I used to be a groupie... in college. Not really my thing anymore though.. (How pathetic does that sound!) But he's cute in a weird way thats like, 'I wanna impress you, but I'm gonna do it by just being me' Which is fine by me. I used to try and change who I was for people but I really had no idea who I was or what I wanted. But not anymore. This. is. me. Who I am right now is the most comfortable I have ever been. But no-ones perfect, I know, at least of all me.

Anyway, I'll tell you about my date when it happens... :)

xx lilyb

Hi, welcome to me?

Life changes so much. I’ve come to realise this. And I mean changes like, day to day, hour to hour. So much can happen, in just a few seconds, so many feelings can change. So why get so down about it? Or, why don't I just write about it?.. So..

Briefly where I am at right now. I have just finished my first semester at uni, (I'm doing a bachelor of nursing... Yep, I'm gonna be a nurse.) I now have two and a half months off.

My sister Ali goes overseas next weekend. Which completely sucks. Life will be even more boring at home (if thats possible...?) And I'm gonna miss her like crazy.

And then there's the ex, James. Who is getting me down and I haaaate it. Hate that I’m actually sad, I broke up with him, and I know I made the right decision. Guess I'm just lonely and pissed cos he's going on dates and I'm not. F-off from my head already! Umm so basically.. this day sucks. But tomorrow will be good. I suppose.

Wonder if anyone will even read this. Oh well!

xx